This is dedicated to a friend of mine who i do not wish to reveal. Ive no idea if you do read my blog. But nonetheless, hope you wont feel that upset and stressed up anymore.
I've fell in and outta love countless times. Be it just a crush or an infatuation, mere good impression or just a like, i used to say i love. But no, these are not love. Its just an emotion i have at that point of time.
Love is about acceptance. Accepting the person for who she/he is. Not just loving her/his good points, but also her/his bad points and looking at it in a different angle pretending it was good. There's no point giving a period of time and hopefully she/he changes to suit yourself or changing she/he to what you want or like.
Love is not all just about being together. If you love someone, there isnt a must to be with that someone. At least that's what i feel. You can beg to differ, its upon each's perception. What's the point of being together when your character clashes with that of the other even when the love between is so strong. How long can both of you withhold that intense feeling for each other? 1 month? 1 year? But so what? One with definately be jaded of this stressful relationship even if both made an effort to keep it going.
Love is not about time. The duration of being together is often a factor why a couple doesnt want to end a fruitless relationship. People often couldnt bear to part with someone when they have been together for quite some time. Yes, that feeling is really hard to bear and it sucks a hell lot. But you gotta pull yourself out of it and get over em. So what if you're together for 2 years or 3? You still have 20, 30 years more to go for the rest of your life. Would you rather be upset after breaking up a relationship that's only a few months or years? Or continue to suffer and drag on for the next half of your life?
This is something i learnt from my cousin. She have been dating her ex boyfriend for a whole 10 years. But she couldnt go on, cos he became a drunkard and spending money lavishly. She too, had to let go of a decade's relationship. And that's how she got married with another guy she dated for about a year or so, and they're so happily together right now. Now, who said love and marriage is about time?
Humans always say, "Never let a love go pass you, always tell your love one i love you and blah blah blah etc. " Partially, i feel its true. But to me, as long as you've done your best, you've given in your all and you've expressed to her/him but destiny doesnt pull you two together, then accept the fact. This is fate. Let her/him go, dont sulk and slowly get over her/him.
I've tried my best to get it going, ive given in my all and had been faithful throughout, ive told him i love you, ive been accepting your every bad points i dislike, ive been loving him for who he is and ive been dragging it for too long. Now i knew that this is fate, and this is the destiny, im willing to let go and give up on him. I too know that ive been his spare tyre all along, i know that he have been playing that game on me, including the mind game which i almost lost and got defeated with two hands down. I know that love isnt about being together with him.
Loving somebody is definately different from being with that somebody. No?
I agree its hard to get over someone. But with determination and strength, telling yourself you can, then you definately can do it. I used to tell myself, no..i cant get over him, i tried but i still cant, i love him too much, he is like part of my life, no matter how hard i tried i couldnt. But now i feel, these are all bullshits. If you've tried hard and you still couldnt get over someone, then you're definately not trying hard enough. Be focus and keep it in mind that you're going to forget him/her. Cast away all the happy memories and the sweet nothings. Be firm and be true to yourself. Say it once that you're gonna forget him/her and make sure you do. Whats the point of saying and not doing it?
Im not a good lover myself, i too have lotsa ups and downs in relationship. I seriously do not know so much about love and relationship. But this is what i feel and what i do. Everything lies in your own hands, cos its your love and your relationship, your life. Passerbys can only advice, heeding it or not is up to yourself.
If i can get out of a love which used to be so damn strong, i dont see why you cant. Keep trying but dont force yourself. Keep it cool my friend, and may you seek happiness soon.
* yours truly.
amber.ruoxuan\\twenty\
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